I woke up calm, had cereal in a bowl

Now I’m arguing with a lamp post about my soul

My sock just vanished, my phone autocorrects “hi”

To something that looks like a dolphin sneezed mid-cry

My playlist shuffled to kazoo death metal

My chair just squeaked like it’s starting a rebellion

I swear I heard my sandwich whisper “run”

Okay, this day has officially begun

Did Mercury microwave my brain today?

Did gravity wake up and float away?

Is somebody trying to make me lose control?

Who’s got the joystick to my soul?

Why’s every little thing set to “troll”?

Is somebody trying to make me lose control?

My shoelace tied itself in knots again

My pen just leaked like it holds a grudge, my friend

If this is a prank, reveal the role—

’Cause somebody’s messing with my control!

I waved at someone who was not waving back

Tripped over air — yes, I got attacked

The fridge light blinked like it knew my name

I’m starting to think I’m inside a game

My cat just judged me, slow blink, full sass

Knocked over water, then sat on the glass

Doorbell rang — nobody there at all

Even my shadow won’t stay on the wall

Did chaos put me on speed dial?

Why’s normal life in denial?

Is somebody trying to make me lose control?

Who switched my brain to “rock ’n’ roll”?

Why’s every task a circus show?

Is somebody trying to make me lose control?

If this is fate, it’s got a weird patrol

Of gremlins stealing my self-control

I’d like to file a formal parole—

From whoever’s messing with my control!

If there’s a hidden camera, blink twice

If this is a test, I decline, that’s my advice

If aliens did it, at least say hello

And maybe return my sanity before you go

Is somebody trying to make me lose control?

I’d settle for a refund on my role

Turn down the chaos, lower the scroll

Is somebody trying to make me lose control?

’Cause if this keeps up, I might just enroll—

In yelling dramatically at a bread roll

Laughing while I spiral in a donut hole

Yeah… somebody’s messing with my control!