Arty Givens - v1 - The Accidental Auteur
Country Novelty song with a smooth, slightly sinister Western/Mariachi rhythm. The instrumentation should feature a [Driving acoustic guitar, a slow, methodical bassline, a melancholic trumpet, and subtle castanets]. The lead vocal MUST be a single, manic MALE vocalist who speaks and sings with a fast, rambling, and confused tone, laced with creeping paranoia. The mood is darkly humorous and secretive. The song must include [sound effects of a telephone ringing quietly, a door locking, a microwave oven 'ding,' and a subtle, high-quality indu
Arty Givens - v1 - The Accidental Auteur
Country Novelty song with a smooth, slightly sinister Western/Mariachi rhythm. The instrumentation should feature a [Driving acoustic guitar, a slow, methodical bassline, a melancholic trumpet, and subtle castanets]. The lead vocal MUST be a single, manic MALE vocalist who speaks and sings with a fast, rambling, and confused tone, laced with creeping paranoia. The mood is darkly humorous and secretive. The song must include [sound effects of a telephone ringing quietly, a door locking, a microwave oven 'ding,' and a subtle, high-quality indu
Lyrics
(Intro - Spoken, fast and paranoid)] [Driving acoustic guitar and methodical bass begin; subtle castanets join in] (Manic Male Vocalist): They say I'm good, they say I'm great! They say I've got the eye! But I swear to you, I don't know how! Every single time! It just... happens! The camera, it just... fires! It’s like it’s got a mind of its own! And they're watching me, I know it! They're always watching... [Melancholic trumpet plays a short, questioning phrase
(Verse 1 - Sung, rambling, slightly off-key)] [Rhythm solidifies, acoustic guitar more prominent] I was hired to shoot a wedding, a quaint, traditional affair, Had my tripod all set up, a boutonnière in my hair. Then I tripped right on the flower girl, went tumbling down the aisle, My finger caught the shutter, for a frantic, blurry mile! But when they saw the prints, oh lord, they said, "A genius, that's for sure!" [Subtle camera click/shutter sound here] A dozen fast-paced action shots, right as I hit the floor! Caught the bride's gasp, the groom's dismay, a tear from Auntie Sue, And then a mirror shattered, sunset blazing right on through! [Trumpet echoes the 'sunset blazing' line
[(Chorus - Sung, a bit faster, more frantic)] Oh, I'm the accidental auteur, the man they all admire, My best work happens when I stumble, right into the fire! They think I plan these moments, with artistic, clever skill, But it's just my own two left feet, and a total lack of will! [Castanets become slightly more prominent, almost nervous] I try to set a still life, and the cat knocks over the vase, Suddenly it’s "Dynamic Movement!" – saves me from disgrace!
[(Verse 2 - Spoken, conspiratorial whisper, then a sudden burst of song)] [Rhythm mellows, bass more prominent, guitar quieter] (Manic Male Vocalist): Last week, a corporate portrait, CEO, a very stern old man. I was adjusting my lens cap, when I slipped on a banana can! No, wait, it was a coffee cup! No, a grape! It doesn't matter, see? [Suddenly, a quiet telephone rings in the background, making him jump] "Who's that?!" [He whispers, paranoid] "They're calling for the truth from me!" [Sung, quickly, covering his tracks] My camera flew right in the air, bounced off the CEO's bald head, But somehow it caught his expression as he landed in his bed! (His office chair, I mean!) And they called it "Raw and Unfiltered!" [Another camera click/shutter sound] "A glimpse into the soul!" they cried, as I lay somewhat bothered.
(Bridge - Sung, slightly grander, with trumpet more prominent)] [Trumpet takes a short, mournful but soaring solo line] They offer me big contracts, to capture 'spontaneous art,' I just hope I keep on tripping, before they see my heart. 'Cause my heart knows it's a fluke, a lucky, clumsy break, One day I'll take a normal shot, and then my fame will ache! [A sharp, distinct door locking sound] [He audibly sighs with relief, then looks around nervously
[(Verse 3 - Sung, even faster, a flurry of words)] [Acoustic guitar picks up the pace, castanets click faster] I tried to shoot a landscape, serene and calm and deep, But then a flock of pigeons dive-bombed, while I was half asleep! [Microwave 'ding' quietly in the background, almost unnoticed by him] They called it "Urban Chaos!" "A visceral, modern view!" My tea was getting cold that day, and my patience was askew! [Subtle camera click/shutter sound again] I swear my camera's sentient, it's got a twisted mind, It knows when I'm about to fall, and leaves my pride behind!
[(Chorus - Sung, with full manic energy)] Oh, I'm the accidental auteur, the man they all admire, My best work happens when I stumble, right into the fire! They think I plan these moments, with artistic, clever skill, But it's just my own two left feet, and a total lack of will! [Castanets become frantic, trumpet plays a final, slightly off-key flourish] I try to set a still life, and the cat knocks over the vase, Suddenly it’s "Dynamic Movement!" – saves me from disgrace!
(Outro - Spoken, fading into paranoid whispers)] [Music fades, only quiet acoustic guitar and bass remain] (Manic Male Vocalist): They'll find me out... they have to! I can't keep faking it forever! What if I take a perfect shot? On purpose? That would be... a disaster! [He giggles nervously] I just need to keep... falling. Yes. That's the plan. [A final, very subtle, high-quality camera click/shutter sound] Shh... did you hear that? I think they heard me... [Music ends abruptly with a final, slightly dissonant guitar chord and a single, lingering trumpet note.