Rushy... Rushy... Rush!

Dam, man… smoked the whole dam portfolio, look like a phantom, zeroes fo days…

n this heart still on E, like the code to my safe… ugh

Count the real 1s on 1 hand, digits missin like my ambition

Blew the piston out the whip ‘fore I could even hit the ignition, listen

Still wishin this passion was a pension, not a permanent condition

Im still itchin, known’ Death since a youth, still Im flirtin with the mortician

Its a ritual, pull the curtain, test the reaper jus to feel the pinprick

So when its final, I aint timid, I jus kick my feet up on the kick-drum

The real issue? My creator must’ve been a glitchy, broke-asss trickster

If God made Rush in His image, then God must’ve been a sick blitzer

A broke dude with no dinner, jus a sinner in a gold picture frame

He grew the Apple, took a bite, now His whole world on some different sht, thats iOS, man…

1st episode of this sick sht, my minds a cinemax of the condemned (Yeah!)

‘Fore my brain blow, 4 walls closin in, call it the kennel, Im the pen

n Im so dam un-eased

Sippin on that anti-freeze, that hundred proof, it kill the germs n kill my dreams

They kno Im 1, 2, 3 steps from the ledge, lookin at the edge like its a weddin dress

Out of control, I dont mean to be so cold, Im jus on some polar bear sht, Arctic breath

n Im so dam un-eased

Sippin on that anti-freeze… Tune in next week fo the disease

I guess I wish I knew how gravity felt, cus my head either in the cosmos or deep in a crater I dug myself

God phoned, caller ID said “Almighty,” my pride sent it straight to voicemail, like “He cant help”

My spirit got a chastity belt that I locked myself, the key’s on a shelf with my self-help

This broken heart? Back on the shelf next to the Kool-Aid, man, Im not okay… OH YEAH!

But God is not to blame (Nah)

u are not to blame, daddy’s not to blame (Nope)

Mommy’s not to blame (Uh-uh)

Devils not to blame, karma’s not to blame (Its not!)

The blocka not to blame, they screamin we the same

But the screws in my brain are a different model, a different name

Im a different kind of flame, I burn the candle at both ends n then I snort the fckin wax, man…

[*Cough cough*] …sht

I aint preachin, jus bleedin thoughts

Packed a blunt with my W-2s, now Im broke and combustible, truths the noose

Count real 1s on 1 hand, the rest? Plastic — mannequins, fake love, manicured

Met a soul once, she looked like my therapist… charged me fo closure, overcharged

Blew the engine before the ignition — Rush the rocket with no reservation

Aint even touched wheels, but the wheels spin in my vision — inversion

Passions a passenger with no seatbelt, turnin Rush suicidal on the mission

Still yearnin, still burnin, pyromaniac with a heart full of kindlin

Still learnin — I kno Death got my digits, we text, she be flirtin

I test her jus to feel certain — certified terminal

Drop the curtain, its curtains fo me — reverse the curin

When its destined, Im grinnin, laugh at the reaper like, "u rehearsin?"

Whats real purpose? Is it pain? Is it pressure? Is it paper I cant stack no more?

Spent my future on a future high — now Im past due on the karma account, overdrawn

If God made me in His image — then He must’ve been hood, too

Aint had dinner but had desire, had demons, had doubters, had daughters He lusted fo — who knew?

He must’ve been broke, too — breadless, blessless, but blessed with the vision

Must’ve been a sinner, too — grew the apple, let Eve twist it, call it twisted fiction

Original sin? Nah — original selection, He picked me fo the mission

Put the fruit in my palm, now Im playin God with my decisions

I jus need this screamin outta my chest

Before I explode — 4 walls feel like a casket with a window, Im confessed — not blessed

Outta control? Nah — Im on 10, jus the world moves at 5

Dont mean to be unkind, but my minds on war n my hearts on strike

My soul so contaminated, even my angel wear a gas mask when she up

Aint no blame game —

God not to blame — He gave me the keys n the free will

U not to blame — unless u the 1 who lit the blunt that freed the feelings

Daddy not to blame — he was missin in action like Congress, all speech n no healin

Mommy not to blame — she loved me the best with the love she was dealt in, the deal breakers

Devil not to blame — he jus takes the order, Im the 1 who placed it

Karma not to blame — she jus invoices — Im the 1 who overcharged it

Rushy not to blame — even when the batter died, I still played with power

Heh… money gone

Pain… still here

Rush… still right here

n Im still…

Un-eased

Rushy... Rushy... Rush!