oh my baby girl, they took you at birth

but i have found you after searching

all over this earth

yes my baby girl, you are so mean

don't you know that all i want

is to be your daddy?

no, not in a weird way, not like that

but when people say nice things, i like to watch you snap

i got no fuckin' clue why you are always on the attack

but Monsanto can't grow enough corn

to keep me supplied with snacks

oh nicole, nicole, are you really sixteen?

oh nicole, nicole, why are you so mean?

who taught you how to speak so fuckin' obscene?

i really love this shit, you know what i mean?

oh my baby girl, they took you at birth

but now i have found you after searching

all over this earth

yes my baby girl, you are so mean

don't you know that all i want

is to be your daddy?

in a paternal sense, don't get it confused

i do like bitches, but little girls i refuse

i will teach you all about sue-no, show you the ways

the way you treat people has me laughing for days

oh nicole, oh nicole, what crawled up your ass?

oh nicole, oh nicole, god damn you make me laugh

oh nicole, oh nicole, don't you ever change

the world needs more of your wily ways

filling out the adoption papers now