yeah
i heard you
i heard every word
i know that place

[Verse 1]
I know the ceiling you keep hitting your head on
I know the quiet you do things in so nobody wakes
I know the loop the rerun, the relapse, the same damn crater
I've been the one sitting still while everything circled and waited

I wore that stillness like it was strength but it wasn't
I called it holding on but I was just too tired to move
And I sat in that and let it outlast everything good in me
Till I had nothing left to lose and that's when I finally chose

[chorus]
Not yet became not ever if I let it
So I stopped letting the darkness make my decisions
I been where you are and I'm telling you straight
You are not the wound you are what survived it

[Verse 2]
I know the pipe back I did it too, told myself not yet
Like delay was mercy, like waiting was some kind of plan
But not yet with no deadline is just no
And I had to look that in the face before I ran

Not away forward first time I ever ran toward something
Shaking like that finger in the face of everything that broke me
And I pointed back at it, I said I'm still here
You had every shot at me and I'm still standing notice

[chorus]
Not yet became not ever if I let it
So I stopped letting the darkness make my decisions
I been where you are and I'm telling you straight
You are not the wound you are what survived it

[Bridge]
You said shouldn't you be screaming
I'm here to tell you yeah scream
But scream at the thing that held you down
Not at yourself for bleeding

You said hope it's not the end
I'm saying it's not even close
You got damage so do I
Damage don't mean done, it means you showed up and took it

The suffering sores, the circling, the sitting still in it
I did all of that and I'm on the other side talking to you
Which means there is another side
Which means you get there too

[Verse 3]
Find your one timeline yeah the old one broke, mine did too
Brand new hope ain't soft, it's the hardest thing you'll build
It's waking up and choosing when choosing feels impossible
It's staying when every single part of you says go

I know the baggage you held dear because it felt like yours
I know the sign to leave it that you saw and didn't take
I took mine late later than I should have but I took it
And late is not the same as never, hear me say it


I heard your song
I heard the not yet
I heard the almost
I heard the finally screaming at the end

And I'm here on the other side of that scream
telling you that's where it starts
not where it ends
you don't get to stop
not yet
not ever