"Hello, just calling with results today.

Your heart’s a bit tired, you should change your way.

More greens, less fries, and walk once a day.

Let’s start with small steps — what do you say?"

I nod and smile though I barely hear

Been lying on the couch for my third straight year

My joggers are somewhere, behind the chair

And I’ve been meaning to… but I don’t dare

Doctor says, “Go break a sweat”

But I just scroll and light a cigarette

Doctor says, “Eat meals on time”

But I just ordered nachos at half-past nine

Doctor says, “You gotta try”

But I just yawn and ask myself why

I know I should, I know it’s bad

But lazy’s the only habit I’ve ever had

"You still there? You’ve skipped your checks.

No salads yet? No cardio treks?

Your liver’s waving a tiny red flag…

Please, can we cut down the snack attack?"

Yeah, I meant to run, but the rain was near

And Netflix dropped a new show this year

I’ve got gym shoes — still in plastic wrap

I swear I’ll wear ‘em after this nap

Doctor says, “Stand up and move”

But my body's stuck in that recliner groove

Doctor says, “Drink water too”

But this soda’s cold and the label’s blue

Doctor says, “Don’t end this way”

But I’ll probably start… next Monday

I know I’m toast, I know I’m fried

But lazy’s the only love I’ve never denied

Maybe I could walk ‘round the block…

(Or maybe just talk the talk)

Maybe carrots aren’t that bad…

(But chips don’t make me sad)

Maybe I should at least pretend…

(But this show’s about to end…)

"You’re stronger than this, I’ve seen it too"

"Yeah maybe one day, just not today, dude"

"You’ll thank yourself if you just begin"

"Can I start with breathing… in?"

Doctor says I’m wasting time

But I’m just chillin’ in my prime

Doctor says I’ve gotta care

But I’m still snacking in my underwear