I said sorry so many times it stopped meaning anything

Wore it like jewelry, like proof I could still feel

Built altars out of my mistakes

And prayed to them for mercy I wouldn’t give myself

Every silence in me sounds like apology

Every laugh I let out feels borrowed

I forgive everyone but me

Keep collecting versions I’ll never let be free

Hold the hurt like a secret degree

As if shame makes me holy, as if guilt makes me clean

(...)

I replay moments that no one remembers

Like I owe the past a witness

My chest is a courtroom that never adjourns

The verdict’s always the same

Sometimes I think I stay guilty

Because it’s the last thread to who I was

And if I cut it, maybe I’ll disappear

Maybe that’s the point

I forgive everyone but me

Still think the wreck proves I can see

Still think I earn love through debris

As if guilt makes me holy, as if guilt makes me clean