Yeah…

Used to think love meant pain,

‘til I learned pain wore your name.

Mama, you taught me how to pray,

and how to run away.

Held me tight, but your arms were chains,

said I was special just to feed your pain.

Every smile you gave had a quiet threat,

every tear you cried was a debt I kept.

I grew up walking on shattered glass,

trying to be the son you'd let last.

You made me mirror, made me bruise,

then called it strength - like that’s the truth.

Said “everything I do is love, boy,”

but love shouldn't break what it builds, boy.

You raised me just to bend me slow,

guess that's the only way you know.

Mama, I still love you even when it bleeds,

even when your truth cuts deep through my dreams.

You taught me pain like it's part of the creed,

Mama, I love you - but I need to leave.

I love you, I hate you, I miss you, I made you…

God knows I prayed you'd save you.

Called me ungrateful when I tried to heal,

said “therapy’s fake, pain ain’t real.”

You drown slow in the guilt you hide,

try to wash your sins with my pride.

Needed control more than peace of mind,

so you clipped my wings to keep me blind.

Now every “I love you” feels like war,

but your voice still lives in my core.

You said the world’s cruel, so you made me tough,

but your kind of love was never enough.

I carry your blood, your ghosts, your name,

every song whispers you just the same.

Mama, I still love you even when it burns,

even knowing you’ll never learn.

I built my peace from your debris,

Mama, I forgive you - to set me free.

You wanted me to need you forever…

Guess I still do. In my own way.