ｍａｍａ
vaporwave, hypnagogic drift, sampled audio, faux-utopian, nostalgic, melancholic, sad, reminiscent, aesthetic, late-night lo-fi, ambient, surreal, relaxing, reflective
The Jester·3:37
3:37
ｍａｍａ
vaporwave, hypnagogic drift, sampled audio, faux-utopian, nostalgic, melancholic, sad, reminiscent, aesthetic, late-night lo-fi, ambient, surreal, relaxing, reflective
Creator: The JesterRelease Date: March 5, 2025
Lyrics
Here I am, alone again
Laying in bed, wide awake
Mind filled with worries I can't comprehend
I can't sleep, so I'll be fake
Mama didn't come home tonight
I had no one to tuck me in
No parent to make it alright
Just me, and the dread within
Where is she right now?
Why isn't she home?
I have to ask how
How have I been left alone?
(Mama, oh Mama)
Is she alive, is she dead?
Worries that shouldn't be in my head
(Mama, oh Mama)
Will she be ok, or found in a ditch?
When she's back, will her voice be off-pitch?
(Mama, oh Mama)
Am I her therapy, or is it the booze?
Either way, I am the one who will lose
Mama is never here when I need her
Either she's gone way too far
Or at home, drunk and bitter
I just hope she won't leave another scar
(Mama loves you, Mama cares)
But she screams, and tugs your hairs
(Mama is sweet, Mama is kind)
But she is angry, looking for peace she'll never find
(Mama takes care of you, gives you food)
But if you don't understand her, she calls you "rude"
(Mama, oh Mama)
Is she alive, is she dead?
Worries that shouldn't be in my head
(Mama, oh Mama)
Will she be ok, or found in a ditch?
When she's back, will her voice be off-pitch?
(Mama, oh Mama)
Am I her therapy, or is it the booze?
Either way, I am the one who will lose
(But one day she will be better)
(One day you will see her smile)
(One day you will be better)
(One day you can smile)
(But you will live with the pain forever)
-----------------------------------------------------------
© 2025 The JesterMC
-----------------------------------------------------------
Here is some context for this song if you want it. This was a half-written song in one of my old notebooks from many years ago. I was told at that time to try and write down how I felt about what I had went through when I was little. I am not trying to trauma dump with this song, so I will not say much beyond the fact that I was frequently left alone at home from when I was in Kindergarten, all the way to the seventh grade, and my mother was an alcoholic.
Writing it down wasn't helping at the time, so I think that is why I never finished it then. However, when I found it, I felt like I had to finish it for a couple reasons. One, I have matured, and my heart has grown stronger. Two, that period of time is just a bad memory now, and my mother has indeed gotten better, went through rehab, and is sober. And three, I just kinda felt something sink in me when I saw the half-finished lyrics, if that makes sense.
Eh, it is what it is I suppose. Don't worry about me, I am doing fine. (I actually mean it lol.)
Laying in bed, wide awake
Mind filled with worries I can't comprehend
I can't sleep, so I'll be fake
Mama didn't come home tonight
I had no one to tuck me in
No parent to make it alright
Just me, and the dread within
Where is she right now?
Why isn't she home?
I have to ask how
How have I been left alone?
(Mama, oh Mama)
Is she alive, is she dead?
Worries that shouldn't be in my head
(Mama, oh Mama)
Will she be ok, or found in a ditch?
When she's back, will her voice be off-pitch?
(Mama, oh Mama)
Am I her therapy, or is it the booze?
Either way, I am the one who will lose
Mama is never here when I need her
Either she's gone way too far
Or at home, drunk and bitter
I just hope she won't leave another scar
(Mama loves you, Mama cares)
But she screams, and tugs your hairs
(Mama is sweet, Mama is kind)
But she is angry, looking for peace she'll never find
(Mama takes care of you, gives you food)
But if you don't understand her, she calls you "rude"
(Mama, oh Mama)
Is she alive, is she dead?
Worries that shouldn't be in my head
(Mama, oh Mama)
Will she be ok, or found in a ditch?
When she's back, will her voice be off-pitch?
(Mama, oh Mama)
Am I her therapy, or is it the booze?
Either way, I am the one who will lose
(But one day she will be better)
(One day you will see her smile)
(One day you will be better)
(One day you can smile)
(But you will live with the pain forever)
-----------------------------------------------------------
© 2025 The JesterMC
-----------------------------------------------------------
Here is some context for this song if you want it. This was a half-written song in one of my old notebooks from many years ago. I was told at that time to try and write down how I felt about what I had went through when I was little. I am not trying to trauma dump with this song, so I will not say much beyond the fact that I was frequently left alone at home from when I was in Kindergarten, all the way to the seventh grade, and my mother was an alcoholic.
Writing it down wasn't helping at the time, so I think that is why I never finished it then. However, when I found it, I felt like I had to finish it for a couple reasons. One, I have matured, and my heart has grown stronger. Two, that period of time is just a bad memory now, and my mother has indeed gotten better, went through rehab, and is sober. And three, I just kinda felt something sink in me when I saw the half-finished lyrics, if that makes sense.
Eh, it is what it is I suppose. Don't worry about me, I am doing fine. (I actually mean it lol.)