Halloween is almost here

My overweight girlfriend loves this time of year

She got off Ozempic because of inflation

Now her mind is focused on this one occasion

Candy by the bucket full

she wants to trick or treat

the weight loss drug has just worn off

and now she wants to eat

Halloween hunger calls to her

Hear that big belly start to stir

chocolates, candy corn, pumpkin pie

A primal look lives in her eyes

The beast awakens, the streets aren't safe

Stole some kids candy and ran away

I hear her slobbering out in the yard

She's eating the pumpkin that we carved

Waking up late at night

I notice she’s not by my side

It’s pitch black dark, so I get my phone

Shine the light around and she’s long gone

Someone calls me from next door

She’s laying dead on their kitchen floor

Thought she was a burglar breaking in

Chocolate pouring down her double chin

Halloween hunger drove her mad

She was holding bags of candy that they had

I knew my neighbor was telling the truth

After several shots, she seemed bulletproof

He said she growled when he pulled the trigger

When he told her to stop, the red eyes grew bigger

She charged him snorting like a pig

Can't blame the man for what he did