Verse ~~

I grew up in a house that looked like a home
Mom, brother, walls, a place we were supposed to belong
But there was a man who made it clear
My presence wasn’t welcome, my breath wasn’t safe here
Hands that hit, words that cut
Fear so loud I learned to shut up
Bruises hid, but the damage stayed
I learned real quick how to get out the way
I wasn’t bad, I wasn’t wild
I was just an unprotected child
And every scream I swallowed down
Built the silence I live in now

Chorus ~~

I feel alone even when I’m surrounded
People talking, but my heart’s ungrounded
I learned early being seen meant pain
So I disappear before it happens again
They say “you’re strong,” but they don’t know why
Strength was survival, not a choice of mine
I’m not lonely ‘cause no one’s near
I’m lonely ‘cause safety was never here

Verse ~~

They ask why I don’t open up
Why closeness makes me lock it up
Why love feels heavy on my chest
Why rest still doesn’t feel like rest
Because when you grow up scared to exist
Your body remembers every hit
Even laughter feels like a lie
When your nervous system learned to hide
I can sit in a room full of friends
Still feel like I’m back there again
Because abuse don’t end when it stops
It rewires how the child grows up

Hook ~~

I’m present, but gone
Smiling, but numb
Loved, but alone
Still bracing for someone
I learned connection doesn’t mean safe
So I keep distance just in case
This is what trauma leaves behind
A crowded room and a silent mind

Parents need to hear this part.

It’s not enough to put a roof overhead.
It’s not enough to say “I tried.”
If a child isn’t safe,
Nothing else matters.
Who you allow around your child
Becomes part of their nervous system.
What you ignore
Becomes what they normalize.
Love doesn’t mean anything
If the child is living in fear.

Verse ~~

I love my family, I really do
But love don’t erase what I lived through
You can be held and still feel alone
When your first lessons taught you home is danger zones
I don’t need pity, I need it said
Abuse shapes who a child becomes in their head
And if you’re raising someone small
Their safety matters more than it all

Chorus ~~

I feel alone even when I’m surrounded
Not because I’m broken, but because I was wounded
I learned silence before I learned trust
I learned endurance before I learned love
If you’re a parent, hear me clear
Your child’s safety is everything here
Because what you protect, or fail to see
Becomes their lifelong reality

Outro ~~

I’m still here.
I survived.
But no child should have to learn strength this way.
Loneliness isn’t always about being alone.
Sometimes it’s about growing up unsafe
With people all around you.

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Lyrics by Whispers
Copyright ©2026 Porcelain Heart
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