"so...I went to get a

cup of coffee with ice....

and tripped over my

roommate passed out

on my sticky carpet

and landed face first into his armpit"

"now that's fucking gross!"

But

You know what? that's just life!

that's just how it goes

SO...

Who gives a shit if

Your cat's on keto

and your fridge

won't close

You lost your keys

in your boyfriend's clothes

and now

Your mom's in town

She says the end is near

And she's here

with a psychic plan

"but forgot it...in her van"

and I think my cat's

the reincarnation of Edgar Allan Poe

Yeah I think that's really nice

But do you mind if I just go?

She said her father was a goat

And her lover's a ghost

So she made love with the knight

"Wait..the knight?"

"Yeah that's really cool"

But I can't deal with this today

So...can I just be on my way? alright

cuz

It's too early in the morning for this

I'm not awake enough to give a shit

I don't mean to be mean but please go away

I'm not trying to talk about it in the damn café

I need my coffee

Fuck!

Dude in a fedora says he’s fighting the man

Lady with a lizard claims it’s her boyfriend Stan

The band on the patio’s playing three keys wrong

And the guy with the bongo? Been at it too long

"Oh god....not this guy again...."

He said

"My car won't start"

I said

"I don't give a damn"

He said

"It's breaking my heart"

I said

"It's not my problem man"

He said

"My girl left me"

I said

"I'm not your bro"

He said

"What can I do?"

I said

"Just go"

It's too early in the morning for this

I'm not awake enough to give a shit

I don't mean to be mean but please go away

I'm not trying to talk about it in the damn café

Look, I'm just wanting a fucking Iced coffee,dude!!

oh great now this lady

She’s crying in the doorway

saying Her cat ate her sock

Guy on the corner’s ranting 'bout the moon and a clock

The barista’s arguing with a ghost

"Hey lady,your boyfriend's over there!"

These people are chaotic

I swear

And all I want’s caffeine,man!

Not this circus affair!

I just want my iced coffee

Leave me alone

No drama no problems just let me zone

Keep your weirdness keep your woe

Just one iced coffee and I’ll go

No,I don't care about the leaky roof in your home,lady!

you're crazy.

Why's it my job to fix your mess

I just want caffeine I could not care less

I just want iced coffee okay

No drama no llamas just get out the way

Keep your weird problems in your weird little head

Give me my iced coffee or I’m gonna see red

You say your neighbor’s dog knows Morse code

Your landlord’s stuck in a karaoke mode

Your sister’s selling crystals shaped like a shoe

She thinks they're cursed and now she’s blaming you

Why’s it my job to hear you whine

I just want a cold brew it’s not a crime

I just want iced coffee okay

No breakdowns no showdowns just go away

Your chaos is yours and I’m not your shrink

Give me my iced coffee or I’m gonna freak

Guy wouldn't stop talking...

So I stabbed him in the knee

He said he thinks he needs a doctor

I said I think you need to chill

He said

"Oh no I'm really serious"

I said "I think you're mental"

He said he knows the meaning of life

But I think he needs a 'double shot and a beeeer!!!"

'Now my co-worker is talking to me!? Why me!?"

oh wait...He said

"Hey it's good to see you"

And I said

"Please!! Get me out of here!!!"

I just want my iced coffee

Leave me alone

No drama

no llamas

no problems with goats!

just leave me alone and

Keep your weirdness keep your woe

Just one iced coffee and I’ll go

No,I don't care about the leaky roof in your home,lady!

you're crazy...

Hey,Why's it my job to fix your mess

I just want caffeine

I could not care less!

Cuz!

It's too early in the morning for this

I'm not awake enough to give a shit

I don't mean to be mean but please go

I really don't wanna talk to you so

Keep your weirdness keep your woe

Just freakin go bro!

Is this a dream or a fevered haze

Why is that dude dressed like mayonnaise

I don’t care if the universe ends

Just gimme my cup and hell no!

we’re not friends

"I just wanted some fucking coffee..."

SO...

Who gives a shit if

Your cat's on keto

and your fridge

won't close

You lost your keys

in your boyfriend's clothes

Your mom's in town

She says the end is near

And she's here....

Wait...not this shit again!

Hey!

"Where the fuck's my coffee!!!??"