Out here, the sky doesn’t comfort you.

It just tells the truth wider.

New Mexico night…

and I finally heard myself think.

I used to call it patience

when I swallowed all the fire

smiled through little knives

and dressed my wounds in wire

I made a home from silence

made a altar out of pain

called the thunder “weather”

when it knew me by my name

Red dust on my boots

black moon on the glass

I watched every promise

turn into a pattern fast

You said I was colder

when I finally stopped explaining

No, I got sober

from the love that kept me draining

I see the hand beneath the hand

I hear the want behind the prayer

You call it care

but I feel control in there

I don’t bleed for access anymore

I don’t leave my spirit at your door

I don’t call it love

when it costs me my core

I don’t bleed

I don’t bleed

for access anymore

Peace used to scare me

now it feels like holy ground

I stopped being useful

and the room got real loud

I don’t beg for closeness

that disrespects my soul

I don’t bleed

I don’t bleed

to make somebody whole

INTJ with a scar map

drawn under my skin

I learned people’s motives

before they walked in

Not psychic, just wounded

not magic, just trained

when you survive enough storms

you can smell the rain

I know who needs a mirror

I know who needs a throne

I know who calls it loyalty

when they fear being alone

I know the joke with venom

I know the hug with strings

I know the sweet little sentence

where the old hook sings

The desert doesn’t flatter

it strips you to the bone

And if you can sit with nothing

you can never be owned

I don’t bleed for access anymore

I don’t leave my spirit at your door

I don’t call it love

when it costs me my core

I don’t bleed

I don’t bleed

for access anymore

Peace used to scare me

now it feels like holy ground

I stopped being useful

and the room got real loud

I don’t beg for closeness

that disrespects my soul

I don’t bleed

I don’t bleed

to make somebody whole

I was the calm one

the good one

the one who understood

I made a mask from mercy

and convinced myself it looked good

But the healer has a shadow

and the shadow has a knife

not to harm the living

just to cut the lie from life

I asked why they hurt me

then I asked the harder thing

Why did I keep kneeling

where I was never seen?

That question cracked the ceiling

that question burned the script

Now I walk through my own silence

like a loaded desert myth

No more translating disrespect

No more hunger dressed as fate

No more calling chaos passion

No more love that feeds on shame

I don’t bleed for access anymore

I don’t leave my spirit at your door

I don’t call it love

when it costs me my core

I don’t bleed

I don’t bleed

for access anymore

Peace used to scare me

now it feels like holy ground

I stopped being useful

and the ghosts all gathered round

But I don’t chase the voices

that only loved my hole

I don’t bleed

I don’t bleed

to make somebody whole

Healing didn’t make me softer.

It made me accurate.

And out here, under this merciless sky…

accuracy is mercy

with a locked door.