I'm a TikTok philosopher now

Ancient wisdom, show me how

Socrates could never compete

With this algorithm beat

Scrolling at 3 AM, enlightenment calls

Some 19-year-old just solved it all

"Toxic people don't deserve your energy"

Thanks random teen, you've set me free (so deep!)

Dancing girl drops wisdom in between

Her thirst trap poses and her skincare routine

"You're not healing, you're just avoiding pain"

Wow, never heard that one before, so sage

Fifteen seconds changed my life

Cut through all my pain and strife

PhD in life advice

From someone half my age, how nice

I'm a TikTok philosopher now

Ancient wisdom, show me how

Socrates could never compete

With this algorithm beat

TikTok philosopher, so wise

Getting schooled by teenage lies

All my problems solved in clips

Thanks to manufactured tips

"Manifest your dreams, just think real hard"

Says the kid whose parents bought her car

"Trauma dumping isn't self-care, babe"

While she overshares about her grave mistakes

"Set boundaries with toxic friends"

As her drama never ends

"Your mental health comes first, always"

While she documents her breakdown phase

Fifteen seconds changed my life

Cut through all my pain and strife

PhD in life advice

From someone half my age, how nice

I'm a TikTok philosopher now

Ancient wisdom, show me how

Socrates could never compete

With this algorithm beat

TikTok philosopher, so wise

Getting schooled by teenage lies

All my problems solved in clips

Thanks to manufactured tips

What did people do before

These profound insights galore?

How did humans ever cope

Without this digital hope?

Books are boring, therapy's slow

TikTok's got that instant flow

Why think deep when I can scroll

And let strangers feed my soul?

I'm a TikTok philosopher now

Enlightened by the algorithm's vow

Plato's cave ain't got nothing on me

I found truth through dopamine

TikTok philosopher, so blessed

Never had to take a test

All my wisdom from the 'Tok

Where the shallow thoughts just rock

Close the app, face the day

With my borrowed wisdom, hey

Wonder why I feel so lost

When my guru's just a boss

At making content, nothing more

Guess I'll scroll and search for more...