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I swallow pills again

Names too long, don’t mean shit

Vraylar, atomoxetine

Ask me what they do

I don’t know, I just take ’em to live

Not to feel better

Just to not fall apart

No hope in the cup

Just trying to get through today

Water shaking in my hand

Cussing before I even swallow

Wish this was my choice

But I never really had one

Why does breathing feel like work

Throat tight for no reason

Nothing even happened

Fuck, I just want nothing to happen

Anxiety—don’t let me slip

Please, just let me finish this shift

I did nothing, still it feels “too late”

Heart too loud in a quiet place

Can I make it through today, okay

No mistakes, no headlines, no breaks

Just one day, let it go my way

Just one day—just one day

Breathing gets heavy, then it slips

Feels like my chest just fucking quits

Blood won’t reach my fingertips

Fingers curling in one by one

Heart banging out of rhythm

Vision closing in, edges gone

Not dying—but it feels close enough

Fuck, here it comes again

No trigger, no reason, no sign

Just my body hitting the red line

This fucking panic disorder

Give me ten minutes—just ten

Ten minutes, don’t pass out

Ten minutes, don’t lose control

I’m counting seconds like prayers

Just let the wave roll

Anxiety—don’t let me slip

Please, just let me finish this shift

I did nothing, still it feels “too late”

Heart too loud in a quiet place

Can I make it through today, okay

No mistakes, no headlines, no breaks

Just one day, let it go my way

Just one day—just one day

I don’t wanna be strong

I don’t wanna be brave

I just wanna stay conscious

And see tomorrow’s face

Everyone says “breathe it out”

Like it’s that fucking simple

If I make it through this minute

That’s a win, that’s official

I take the pills

The room goes quiet, not calm

My heart still loud

But the clock keeps moving

Anxiety

Didn’t leave—just stepped back

Ten minutes passed

That’s enough

Lights out