[Intro]
Yo Joe, thanks for having me on, this is wild (it’s Halloween?)
Oh word? That’s crazy man, I didn’t even realize
Wait, why’s it so dark in here? Where’s Jamie at?
You know what, let me freestyle about being scared and that’s that

[Verse 1]
I woke up on Halloween feeling paranoid already
Checked under my bed for monsters …. found dust bunnies, heavy
Then I thought, what if dust bunnies actually ARE monsters?
Microscopic demons plotting while I sleep, small mobsters
Let me tell you Joe, I’m terrified of everything that moves
Ghosts, goblins, vampires, and definitely werewolves too
But also scared of normal things like taxes and commitment
My therapist says I need help, I think she’s onto something
Hold up, speaking of ghosts … you ever seen one before, Joe?
Probably fought one in the sauna after eating elk, I know
You’d choke it out with jiu-jitsu, submit a poltergeist quick
Me? I’d probably apologize and ask if it’s alright, sick

[Hook]
It’s Halloween at Joe’s and I’m freaking out right now
Talking bout DMT while the demons coming out somehow
Got that podcast confidence but I’m scared deep inside
This is what happens when you freestyle terrified

[Verse 2]
Okay so I’ve been thinking bout supernatural phenomena daily
Like, what if Bigfoot’s real and he’s got a college degree?
Works a normal job, pays his taxes, drives a Prius to work
We’re out here hunting him and he’s just trying to feed his species, berserk
Speaking of cryptids, Joe you think that chimps could learn to rap?
Jamie, pull that up … a chimpanzee rocking a backwards cap
Actually don’t, that’s terrifying, apes are strong as hell for real
One freestyle battle and I’m getting sent straight to chimp jail, the deal
Yo, real talk though, witches freak me out the most by far
Not because they’re evil, but what if they’re just misunderstood stars?
Like maybe she’s making potions cause her health insurance lapsed bad
And eye of newt is cheaper than the pharmacy, perhaps, that’s sad

[Verse 3]
Wait, how long have I been going? Hah hah…. like four minutes now?
I started talking bout Halloween, now I’m defending witches somehow
This is what your podcast does to people’s brains, Joe Rogan
Three hours later I believe in ancient aliens for sure, I’m hoping
I got seventeen different fears happening simultaneously here
One’s “is that shadow moving?” another’s “did I lock my car keys?” clear
One is worried that vampires might actually be real and alive
And the last one’s wondering if elk meat’s really that big in your life
But serious question … if you fought a zombie with no rules at all
Would you go for the head immediately or try some ground moves to stall?
Cause I feel like zombies don’t tap out, they’re already deceased and gone
So rear naked choke won’t work, you need a different technique, move on

[Bridge]
Okay I’m losing it, the Halloween vibes got me shook
Started confident, now I’m scared of every sound and look
But Joe, you always say face your fears, conquer your mind
So I’mma finish this freestyle even though I’m terrified

[Final Verse]
Last thing before I go, I wanna start a support group tonight
For people scared of Halloween but stuck at costume parties, right, troops?
We’ll meet in well-lit spaces, no spooky decorations allowed at all
Just people eating candy corn admitting they’re scared of crowds and walls
Also, shoutout to everyone who’s listening in the dark right now alone
Probably checking behind them after every single sound in their home
Your bravery’s admirable but honestly also kinda foolish though
Cause if something IS behind you, my freestyle made it come and show
Oh and Joe, thanks for the platform, this was therapeutic and wild
Talked through my fears while making beats that sound hypnotic , compiled
Next time I’ll bring some elk meat, we’ll talk bout consciousness and space
But for now I’m leaving quickly cause I swear I heard a noise in this place

[Outro]
Alright Joe, that’s all I got (actually I’m just scared now)
Jamie, can you turn the lights on? What’s that sound?
This was fun, I faced my fears with comedy and bass
Halloween freestyle complete, I’m running from this place
Peace!