Got drunk at the county fair

Don't remember nothing

Nothing all that clear

Think I got sick in Cinderella's hair

Why did I keep going

For one more round

My son tried to stop me

But I kicked him to the ground

Castle walls, penetrated

Wife and kids, humiliated

Drunk tank, welcome,

My old friend

Knew I'd see you

Again in the end!

Some pictures my friends sent me

After I was done

Bathing a pig in a tub of rum

Drinking it up,

And spitting it out

Took the pig home

And licked its snout

My wife and kids

Not impressed

So many pictures

Of me in a dress

Not one suit of armor

Free of my piss

Not one town drunk

That I didn't kiss

Why did I keep going

For one more round

My son tried to stop me

But I kicked him to the ground

Castle walls, penetrated

Wife and kids, humiliated

Drunk tank, welcome,

My old friend

Knew I'd see you

Again in the end!

My momma called my phone up

Said the dick pics

had to stop (oh god)

I called the holocaust a sham

And for that I got a lifetime ban

The next day

My wife confronted me

Said the worst thing about this

Was that the drinks were alcohol free-

(WHAT!?)

Why did I keep going

For one more round

My son tried to stop me

But I kicked him to the ground

Castle walls, penetrated

Wife and kids, humiliated

Drunk tank, welcome,

My old friend

Knew I'd see you

Again in the end!