They said my voice was dangerous,

Too pleasant on the phone,

Apparently a friendly tone

Can overthrow a throne.

I laughed a little too loudly,

They called it social theft,

I said, "Buddy, if that's a crime,

There ain't many saints left."

Every joke's a fishing line,

Every story casts a net,

Every hello hopes somebody

Won't forget you yet.

Lock me up, I'm guilty now,

A first-degree charmer somehow,

I manipulated Linda

Into smiling for a while.

Influenced Joe with coffee,

Made my neighbor laugh at noon,

If kindness is coercion,

They're arresting half the room.

A preacher wants salvation,

A teacher wants you wise,

A singer wants an audience,

A lover wants your eyes.

A salesman wants a signature,

A poet wants a tear,

A lonely soul just wants to know

Somebody else is here.

Every word's a tiny push,

Every dream's a little shove,

The whole damn world keeps spinning on

Persuasion dressed as love.

Lock me up, I'm guilty now,

A compliment criminal somehow,

Manipulated my best friend

Into believing he's enough.

Convinced my kids they're wonderful,

Told strangers not to quit,

If hoping for a good result

Makes me guilty—I admit it.

Go live inside a cabin,

Talk exclusively to trees,

Never tell a joke, never wave hello,

Never say "thank you" or "please."

Because the moment that you hope

Your words might change a day,

Congratulations, welcome friend,

You've entered human play.

Lock me up, I'm guilty now,

Repeat offender anyhow,

Been manipulating happiness

Everywhere I go.

Planting little seeds of hope,

Watching unexpected blooms,

If making people feel better's wrong,

I'll be wrong till the moon falls through.

I'll be over here manipulating my friends

Into being happy again...