I was small, you were a giant then

We were wild, running through the violet wind

I didn't know that time was a thief in the night

Stealing the color from your muzzle, stealing the light

I grew above, and you grew slow

Watching the seasons come, watching them go

I didn't know how to speak the language of loss

I just knew I’d pay whatever the cost.

But the gravity shifted, the earth started shaking

I saw your legs trembling, I saw my heart breaking

On the floor of the livingroom, I gathered you near

Told you secrets that only we’d hear.

And you took your last breath right here in my hands

And I felt the collapse of my internal lands

It was heavy, so heavy, the silence that fell

A personal heaven turned private hell

So I lock up the gate, and I swallow the key

‘Cause I can’t let another one do this to me

No, I won’t let another one do this to me.

Now I’m older, living in a sterile space

I turn my head when I see a similar face

They say I’m cold, that I should just start again

But they don’t understand the psychology of the pain

It’s a trauma response, it’s a shield on my chest

I can’t invite a new ghost to be my guest

Because love is a debt that I cannot afford

When the memory of you is the only reward.

Yeah, the gravity shifted, the earth is still shaking

I’m still a teenager, I’m still sitting there aching

On the floor of the livingroom, holding the weight

Begging the universe to change your fate.

‘Cause you took your last breath right here in my hands

And I felt the collapse of my internal lands

It was heavy, so heavy, the silence that fell

A personal heaven turned private hell

So I lock up the gate, and I swallow the key

‘Cause I can’t let another one do this to me

No, I won’t let another one do this to me.

I am terrified of the goodbye!

I am terrified to watch something die!

I have too much love, but it’s frozen in ice

I paid with my childhood, I paid the full price

I can’t do it over, I can’t watch the fade

I’m living inside of the shelter I made!

‘Cause you took your last breath right here in my hands...

And I felt the collapse of my internal lands

It was heavy, so heavy...

So I lock up the gate, and I swallow the key

‘Cause I can’t let another one do this to me.

I won’t risk the fall.

I won’t risk it at all.

Just you.

It’s always just you.

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