Woke up to plastic reindeer

staring through my window screen —

The neighbors built a light show

that’s assaulting my routine.

Tinsel on the mailbox,

carolers at 8 AM…

I haven’t even caffeinated —

why are they like this? Again?

⸻

Everyone’s pretending

this season fixes life —

But I’m wrapping up my chaos

like a last-minute surprise.

⸻

The holidays are brutal,

Punchin’ through my roof tile —

I’m dodging festive pressure

with a half-deranged smile.

Yeah, candy canes are stress sticks,

Santa’s stuck in TSA…

The holidays are brutal —

But babe, I’m brutal in a cute way. 🥊✨

⸻

Gingerbread anxiety,

eggnog on my favorite shoes —

I swear the elf on the shelf

is reporting all my moods.

My family group chat’s buzzing —

“Are you coming?” Hard pass, no.

I’ll stay home making playlists

of Mariah going high-note psycho.

⸻

Everyone’s got sparkle

that they duct-taped to their face —

I’m here in pink fur jacket

tryna survive this holiday race.

⸻

The holidays are brutal,

Punchin’ through my roof tile —

I’m dodging festive pressure

with a half-deranged smile.

Yeah, candy canes are stress sticks,

Santa’s stuck in TSA…

The holidays are brutal —

But babe, I’m brutal in a cute way.

⸻

Deck the halls?

I deck the drama.

Fake a laugh

for winter’s karma.

Silent night?

Not in this town.

One more jingle

and I shut down. 😵‍💫✨

⸻

The holidays are brutal,

But I’m still here — I won’t break.

I’ll glitter-bomb the chaos

just to watch the season shake.

If joy comes late, I’ll take it —

wrap it messy anyway…

Yeah, holidays are brutal —

but babe, I’m brutal in a cute way.