(yeah…)

(you up?)

I can’t sleep with that ceiling light on

It feel like you’re gone when I’m not strong

I keep sayin’ I’ll change, but I won’t

I keep reachin’ for you with my hands tied, hands tied

I can’t sleep with that ceiling light on

I text “I’m fine” and I leave my phone off

If you love me, don’t love me too long

‘Cause I break good things when they get mine, get mine

Bathroom mirror lookin’ like an enemy

Eyes red, same ache, same chemistry

I’m a “sorry” with a pulse, that’s the truth in me

I’m a bed full of ghosts and a memory

Streetlights smear on the glass when I’m drivin’

Same route, same doubt, I keep hidin’

I hear your name in the buzz of the high-end

Hate how I’m brave when I’m dyin’ inside and

I don’t wanna drag you into my weather

But I only feel warm when we’re together

Then I get scared, start cuttin’ the tether

Act like I don’t care—yeah, whatever

(whatever…)

I can’t sleep with that ceiling light on

It feel like you’re gone when I’m not strong

I keep sayin’ I’ll change, but I won’t

I keep reachin’ for you with my hands tied, hands tied

I can’t sleep with that ceiling light on

I text “I’m fine” and I leave my phone off

If you love me, don’t love me too long

‘Cause I break good things when they get mine, get mine

I been learnin’ how to smile like a sponsor

Sell a version of me that’s a monster

But you saw the kid in the costume (uh)

Now I’m mad you can see through the false move

Late night, heart like a loose wire sparkin’

I say “pull up,” then I panic and I’m guardin’

I want you close, I want space, that’s the problem

I keep throwin’ little wars in the garden

And it’s shame, it’s a chain, it’s a habit

It’s a song I replay ‘til it happens

If you leave, I’ll deserve it, I’m classic

If you stay, I’ll get worse, I can’t mask it

So I stare at the ceiling, light bleedin’

Tryna tell myself you got reasons

Tryna tell myself I’m not poison

But my hands shake every time I’m holdin’

(holdin’ you…)

If I say “don’t go,” will it sound like a threat?

If I say “I love you,” will you place your bets?

I don’t wanna be the thing you regret

But I’m tired of meetin’ me like this—yeah

Ceiling light still on…

phone face down…

(yeah)

If you’re still here tomorrow

I’ma try, I’ma try…