[Verse 1]
I know I’m a sinner in your eyes
You don’t see the reason
Just the consequence
Like rain stains on a windowpane
Or smoke hanging in the den

You always spoke in careful words
Soft enough to bruise
And I learned early
How to make myself smaller
Inside a room with you

[Pre-Chorus]
But you loved me in your way
Steady as the evening news
Coffee rings and folded prayers
Light slipping through the living room

[Chorus]
Much to your surprise
I don’t punish myself
I don’t kneel awake at night
Asking heaven for help

I carried shame
Till it wore right through
Now I let it pass straight through me
Like smoke through a screen door
Back into the blue

[Verse 2]
There’s a photograph somewhere
You’re laughing at the lake
Sunlight on your shoulders
Before the cancer came

And sometimes I still talk to you
When the house is still
Like maybe death untangles things
The living never will

[Pre-Chorus]
You would’ve hated certain truths
Or maybe just the fear
But love is such a quiet thing
Compared to what we hear

[Chorus]
Much to your surprise
I don’t punish myself
I don’t turn every tender thing
Into something else

I spent years
Mistaking silence for grace
Now I let my body occupy
Whatever room it takes

[Bridge]
Maybe mercy looks like this
No blood, no fire, no flood
Just somebody standing in the kitchen
Refusing to become afraid of love

Maybe heaven isn’t judgment
Maybe it’s release
Maybe all the things we carried here
Finally fall beneath our feet

[Final Chorus]
And much to your surprise
I still speak your name
Still see you in the garden
In the television glow and summer rain

You never knew the whole of me
But maybe that was true both ways
And I hope wherever you are now
The distance finally gave way

[Outro]
I know I’m a sinner in your eyes
But I don’t punish myself
Not anymore