I wanna love you
Tempo: Slow and hesitant (around 65 BPM)Vibe: Cinematic, raw, and intimateInstrumentation: Felt Piano, Fingerpicked Nylon-String Guitar, Ambient Synth Pad, Low Cello, and Solo Violin (played by the singer) Sakura (Female, Electric Violin: Soft, pleading, sad vocal tone; and soft high screams.
I wanna love you
Tempo: Slow and hesitant (around 65 BPM)Vibe: Cinematic, raw, and intimateInstrumentation: Felt Piano, Fingerpicked Nylon-String Guitar, Ambient Synth Pad, Low Cello, and Solo Violin (played by the singer) Sakura (Female, Electric Violin: Soft, pleading, sad vocal tone; and soft high screams.
Lyrics
Intro
The song opens with a soft, warm felt piano playing a repetitive, gentle chord progression. A low, swelling ambient synth pad enters, mimicking a quiet background hum or static. The singer plays a few hesitant, plucked violin notes (pizitcato) that feel unsure.
Verse 1
Piano and synth pad continue softly. Guitar is silent. No violin while singing.
The room is humming at a pitch too loud.I blend like static in a moving crowd.You ask me what I feel, you want a name.But inside my chest, it all feels the same.A heavy static, a muffled roar.I do not know what I am crying for.
The vocals stop. The singer draws the bow across the violin for a brief, weeping, two-note phrase that swells and fades.][Chorus
A warm, fingerpicked acoustic guitar enters to create a gentle heartbeat. A low cello drone anchors the bottom end. The singer plays long, smooth violin notes (legato) in the spaces between her vocal lines, mirroring the melody.
I want to love you, I want to stay.But my own weather is a misty grey.I can’t translate the language in my veins.I don’t know where the sorrow ends or starts or pains.It’s hard to hold your hand across the dark.When I am missing my own compass mark.
Verse 2
The guitar stops. The arrangement drops back down to just the felt piano and the low synth static. The singer plays tiny, quiet violin plucks between lines.
You watch my face to see a shifting tide.But everything is locked away inside.It isn’t coldness, it isn’t spite.My wires get tangled in the quiet night.A sudden floodgate, a sudden freeze.I’m dropping tokens that you cannot read.
Chorus
The acoustic guitar, cello, and full synth pad return with more emotional weight. The singer's violin plays higher, swelling notes that ride just underneath her vocals.
I want to love you, I want to stay.But my own weather is a misty grey.I can’t translate the language in my veins.I don’t know where the sorrow ends or starts or pains.It’s hard to hold your hand across the dark.When I am missing my own compass mark.
Bridge
The piano and guitar stop abruptly. Only the low cello and the cold ambient synth pad remain. The vocals are dry, close, and whispered.
Alexithymia is a heavy word to wear.It means I’m feeling everything, but nothing’s clear.I see you hurting, I see you try.I hate the distance, but I don’t know why.
Violin Solo
The vocals stop. The felt piano crashes back in with a heavy, melancholic chord. The singer plays a raw, passionate violin solo. It should sound slightly imperfect and scraping, expressing the intense frustration and grief that she couldn't put into words. The cello rises to meet it in a brief, dark duet.
Outro
All instruments fade out except for the felt piano, which plays very slowly. The violin is completely silent.
The room is quiet now, the static clears.I count the patterns of my falling tears.I’m sorry that I am so hard to find.I’m lost inside the corners of my mind.
Piano plays one final, unresolved chord
Still trying to learn.What hurts.[A final, single violin pluck resonates and fades into silence.]