Merry Christmas 🎅🖤🎄

suzu on da beat...

yeah… fuck.

I don’t know, I don’t know,

who the fuck I even am no more.

I see it, I get it,

but I don’t move, that’s my curse.

There’s pain behind this lazy tone,

a deeper wound I don’t show.

I laugh and say “I’m fine,”

but you know… it’s bullshit.

To-do lists stacked high as hell,

and I just stare, don’t even yell.

World runs laps, I’m still stuck,

in my bed, like fuck my luck.

Say it’s meaningless,

but that’s the only peace I get.

Sunlight hits my face again,

feels like punishment for breathing it.

A spark lights, then dies in my hands,

motivation slips like sand.

Yesterday’s me, today’s me,

same body, same fuckin’ plan.

I don’t know, I don’t know,

who the fuck I even am no more.

I see it, I get it,

but I don’t move, that’s my curse.

There’s pain behind this lazy tone,

a deeper wound I don’t show.

I laugh and say “I’m fine,”

but you know… it’s bullshit.

I fake belief in myself,

then throw the rest to tomorrow.

Tomorrow shows up the same —

empty, dry, and hollow.

My fire’s low, barely burns,

I fade out, still never learn.

Ain’t nobody else to blame,

yeah, I know, it’s my damn name.

“Move,” they say —

but that word just fuckin’ echoes.

“Promise,” I say —

but it means nothin’ when I’m hollow.

I don’t know, I don’t know,

who the fuck I even am no more.

I see it, I get it,

but I don’t move, that’s my curse.

There’s pain behind this lazy tone,

a deeper wound I don’t show.

I laugh and say “I’m fine,”

but you know… it’s bullshit.

I don’t know, I don’t know,

thought I did, but I lost that road.

I know, I know…

but still, I whisper — “I don’t know.”