Again, here we go…

I’ve gone on another binge…

I’ve gone on a binge — a classic of the genre,

Season three, the main character — still me.

Phone on silent, door locked tight,

Only ice and cognac in the fridge tonight.

Friends text: “Bro, are you even alive?”

I reply with a sticker: “In progress. Don’t disturb.”

My liver’s already sending official warnings,

And I pour another one like, “Hang in there, old girl.”

I’ve gone on a binge, a binge, a binge,

Everything’s according to plan, totally under control, bro.

I’ve gone on a binge, a binge, a binge,

Don’t look for me — I’m in an important meeting with alcohol.

Yesterday I promised: “Gym starting Monday.”

Today’s Monday… well, technically Tuesday.

I drink to the health of everyone who annoys me,

Especially those who say, “Pull yourself together.”

The neighbor’s knocking on the wall at three in the morning,

I knock back — a cultural exchange.

Life’s like a series, and I’ve hit pause,

Episode title: “Here he goes again, damn it.”

I’ve gone on a binge, a binge, a binge,

Everything’s according to plan, totally under control, bro.

I’ve gone on a binge, a binge, a binge,

Don’t look for me — I’m in an important meeting with alcohol.

Work texts me: “Where’s the report?”

I reply: “Currently maturing.”

The boss calls — I’m in airplane mode,

Best excuse I’ve used in ten years.

I drink to the dreams that never came true,

I drink to the plans I buried myself.

I drink to “tomorrow I’ll definitely start over,”

At this point it’s tradition, almost a religion.

This isn’t a crisis…

It’s scheduled maintenance.

Routine servicing of the organism.

Please do not interfere.

I’ve gone on a binge! (a binge, a binge!)

Everything’s according to plan, totally under control! (yeah, right…)

I’ve gone on a binge! (a binge, a binge!)

Don’t call… I’m in an important meeting… with myself.

…again.