[No brickwall limiting, No hard clipping, No over-compression, No heavy limiter, No loudness war, No distorted master, No muddy mix, No auto-tune, No pitch correction, No robotic vocals, No vocoder, No quantization, No rigid 4/4 grid, No snap-to-grid, No generic edm loops, No modern trap snares, No 808 sub-bass, No clean production, No digital sparkle]


[intro: solo ticking toy-clock, sound of a plushie unzipping, 3d rain] [style: voice 2: glitched ai anchor, serious but stuttering tone] [vertical modulation: alarm frequency rising slowly]
...
multiple reports of monkeys on the loose in sector 7... officials say the animals are real... the photos are not... they’re revision-49... (woop woop)

[beat drop: heavy taiko strike, squishy plush-bass, 25% human latency] [little chicken - half-spoken plushie growl]... just mindin’ my own business— funky monkeys, yeah funky monkeys... on my funky street... funky monkeys, yeah, funky monkeys... snatchin’ my funky phone! ((snatchin’ my phone))

[verse 1: skunk funk swagger, tribal toms, toy-box glitching]... they’re climbin’ in your windows... snatchin’ your plushies up. hide your kids, hide your wife... and hide your husband... ‘cause these funky monkeys are everybody out here. is that a fact? probably a monkey-fact.

[verse 2: rapid-fire delivery, drums pushing time, acid-wah guitar sweeps]... these funky monkeys escaped, nobody knows how... swingin’ through the arcology like “this is ours now.” surveillance-mom is stressin’, vancecorp on the phone... funky monkeys like “nah, we grown—leave us alone!” funky monkeys on a fence, funky monkeys stealin’ fries... whole damn internet fooled by ai. facebook say “caught,” yeah that’s a lie... that funky monkey got six fingers and laser eyes! ((laser eyes)) (((eyes)))

[chorus: towering shamanic wail, squishy industrial hook, no brickwall] 🎶 so hide yo’ snacks, hide yo’ fruit, hide yo’ bananas! 🎶 these funky monkeys wildin’ out, dodgin’ all the cameras! funky monkeys swingin’ everywhere, yeah funky monkeys everywhere! fake news got bigfoot monkeys in underwear! [vocal: shamanic cluck wail] woop-woop! loop-dee-loop!

[verse 3: rhythmic displacement, taiko drums dominant, 3d spatial whispers] funky monkeys climbin’ in your windows... funky monkeys snatchin’ your plushies up. hide your kids, hide your wife... hide your chips, hide your lean... (wait, did they escape sector 7) ‘cause funky monkeys are everybody out here. lady on the news like “i fear for my life!” funky monkey stared me down like he owed me sector-tax... psych! [sound: smoke grenade hiss moving 360 degrees]

[eyewitness clip: breathless, high-pitched vocal fry] “it screamed at my funky dog... stole my funky cheetos... the due is the do... and the do is the doo-doo...”

[outro: decaying tape echoes, vertical pitch shift down] ...city say “don’t approach ’em funky monkeys”—yeah, no funky shit. i ain’t fightin’ no funky monkey with nothin’ funky to lose. hide your funk snacks. lock your funky doors. funky monkeys funky everywhere.

[little chicken - spoken]: one more bite. (woop woop!)