Yeah… even when you didn’t hold me,
my turtleneck told me,
“chill, homie.”
Sat on my skin like low key therapy,
barely me,
but it kept me steady, see?

Guess it kept me warmed up,
kept me from burnin’ out,
kept my thoughts from stormin’ out,
kept my heart from fallin’ down,
callin’ out,
all that dumb stuff I always talk about.

But then I felt it, man—
like I was sinkin’ in,
thinkin’ in,
linkin’ in ways
where I couldn’t tell my skin
from the knit I was livin’ in.

My body’s warm now,
I’m on now,
I could run now,
I could jump somehow.
Neck wrapped, mind snapped,
heart tapped back—
that’s what my turtleneck had my back like.

But I’m past that phase,
past that haze,
I ain’t stayin’ saved.
I wanna be the one who stays,
who stands,
who holds you up on your worst days.


Hot days, cold days,
it stayed—always.
Wrapped my neck like,
“hey, don’t go away.”
And yeah, I still feel that pull,
that dull little lull
from the old me I used to call “full.”

But I gotta move,
gotta lose that loop,
gotta choose a new groove
to grow in,
go in,
show up as someone
who ain’t hidin’ in cloth no more.

Before I melt into it,
blend into it,
bend into it,
end in it,
I’m settin’ it down.
I’m lettin’ me out.
I’m lettin’ you know
I’m tryin’ to stand my ground.

My body’s warm now,
I’m set now,
I could run now,
I could fly somehow.
That’s what you were, turtleneck—
my fallback, my calm down,
my soft sound background.

But tonight I’m takin’ you off,
walkin’ out,
startin’ whatever this “new me” costs.
When winter’s lost,
I’ll be standin’ with her—
not behind her,
not under cover,
but right beside her.


Yeah… I loved you.
But I’m goin’.
Thanks for keepin’ me warm
when I didn’t know me.